We watched some major music TV stations and discovered 7 really stupid things

Nigerian music videos are very procedural about using the same elements for their visual makeup. The corollary effect on the audience is a wave of messages that are subconsciously passed over and over again until they are internalised as normal.

These are some of such cliches and its debilitating effects on our intelligence especially for younger children and teenagers who can easily emulate everything they watch on TV.

Nyansh

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Behind every Nigerian music YouTube video with a substantial amount of views is a considerable amount of vibrating, gyrating or feverishly shaking fluffy mass of a woman’s behind. Great men have lost their souls to this lump of fatty appendage and Nigerian artistes have successfully honed this sexual representation of Nigerian women as a marketing tactic for their videos. The result, of course, is creating a generation of misogynist men and insecure women who become self-aware thanks to the unrealistic buttock standards set by these videos.

Smoking and other dangerously foolish ideas

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Occasionally,music videos all over the world have a slow-motion scene where the artiste is seen smoking a Cuban cigar or a jumbo blunt of weed and it looks really cool on video. But in reality, it’s not. Smoking cigarettes or weed is bad for your lungs, more than 100,000 people in the UK die from smoking related diseases. And that, by the way, is in a country where they have functional health facilities, so think twice before you pick up a cigarette just because you saw Burna Boy do it.

Unrealistic standards

Flavour

Not every girl has high cheekbones, a thin upper body with wide hips. Not every guy has chiseled 6 pack abs and a perfect chin. If you’re going to hit the gym after watching Iyanya or Flavour shirtless for 3 minutes, do so because you want to, not because you suddenly feel bad about your own body.

No one really has that many friends

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We don’t know who began the “cameo-all-your-famous-friends” in your music video trend but one thing is for sure, nobody has that many friends. Life is not always a party with all the most powerful celebrities in the music industry in attendance. Everyone is looking for camera time to boost their popularity, it has nothing to do with the music or the artiste. So don’t feel any pressure to get famous by all means to find yourself a cameo spot on an Olamide video.

Everyday is not really a party

There is a gaping hole of concepts for Nigerian music videos and often music video directors are forced by either budget or artiste demands to present an artiste’ daily life as nothing but a domino of parties that crash into one another every day till the artiste goes out of relevance. Sorry to disappoint you but between studio time, interviews, concerts, photo shoots, video shoots and a host of other celebrity-ish things, we’re pretty sure any sane person would choose sleep over partying. So you don’t have to worry about finding turn up every weekend, because that’s what you think your favourite celebrities are doing, sometimes sleep.

Wealth

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Are you constantly shocked at how Nigerian artistes waste so many dollars on video shoots? Do you sometimes wish your daddy was rich enough to buy you the kind of fancy cars you see on TV? Or are you already considering doing yahoo yahoo to impress the kind of girls in these music videos? If you fit this description you need a knock on the head. Those oyinbo dollars are fake, those cars are rented and those girls will get paid for every second of screen time they appear on the video. Everything is either fake or paid for so don’t be scammed into doing something stupid.

Popping champagne

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As corks go off in the air in slow motion and frothy foams of champagne erupt into the air, please be reminded those bottles are nothing but music video props bought for the low low at an actual store or even supplied by the manufacturer for subtle advertisements.

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